


Messy Eater

by Cigarettes_and_GIngerAle



Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Humor and Fluff, Jackieboy Marvin and Schneep are barely there, like three seconds, they don't do much for other than provide some support, this is mainly about Jameson and Robbie - the two most adorable beans to exist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 12:25:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14355480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cigarettes_and_GIngerAle/pseuds/Cigarettes_and_GIngerAle
Summary: Jameson loves Robbie like a brother, don't get him wrong! He just has a small pet peeve...Robbie has never been taught proper table manners. Hopefully, Jameson can change that. (Nothing but pure fluff and humor!)





	Messy Eater

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I’m back again with another JSE ego oneshot. This time, I’ll be writing about the two youngest egos, Robbie and Jameson! I’ve had this idea for a while, but I finally decided to write it in light of recent events (Jameson Jackson is OFFICIALLY his own ego!). This story ended up being one of my longer ones, almost 2,000 words! Plus I'm pretty proud of how it turned out.  
> Well, without further ado, here we go!

“Hey, Robbie! Hungry?” Chase peered into the living room, sandwich in hand.

“Mhm!” The zombie tumbled off of the couch and scrambled to his feet. Robbie took the sandwich from the other ego, practically drooling as he carried it back to the couch. He plopped back into his place between Anti and Jameson and returned to the movie with a wide smile.

Next to the zombie, Jameson couldn’t help but notice the zombie’s loud chewing, which made it difficult to hear the film. He sighed softly and turned the volume up on the television. Settling back into the cushions, he tried to focus on the movie. However, the flying crumbs quickly took his attention away from the television. Jameson glanced at the undead ego out of the corner of his eye.

Anti seemed unaffected by the bread and jelly flying everywhere, only looking away from the movie when Robbie grunted and pulled on his sleeve. “Did ya’ get jelly on your face?” The zombie giggled as Anti wiped at the mess on his cheek. Once most of the smear was gone, he went back to devouring the sandwich and the glitch turned back to the movie.

Jelly and bread landed on Jameson’s lap – even while he was sitting a distance away from the source. His left eye twitched as he curtly brushed the crumbs away. Even as he did so, more took their place. He briskly swept them away again and turned slightly away from the other two, trying to avoid more projectiles.

The sandwich quickly disappeared and the sounds ceased. Jameson smiled and began to relax back into a comfortable position.

However, more noises from nearby quickly dashed his hopes.

Robbie tugged on Anti’s sleeve again and pointed at the roof of his mouth where a glob of peanut butter was glued. “Go see Marvin in the kitchen, he’ll get cha’ a drink.” Robbie promptly rolled off of the couch again, landed on the floor, and shuffled out of the room. The zombie’s loud smacking and frustrated hums could be heard from the living room, even when he had left.

Jameson remained still for a moment, collecting himself. Then he turned to Anti and waved to get his attention. “Hm? What is it?”

Jameson took a breath before he began to sign. ‘Have you noticed Robbie’s…manners?’ Anti blinked. “He’s been sayin’ please and thank you…did he get into your bowties again?”

Jameson sighed, rubbing his eyes. ‘How he’s eating. It’s…not good.’

Anti blinked again, raising an eyebrow in confusion. “I thought he was eating just fine. Why, does Schneep think we need to adjust his feeding schedule? Or does he think we should add some different foods?”

The younger ego face palmed. ‘NO.’ He vigorously shook his head and pointed to the crumbs now littering the floor and furniture. ‘This. This is what I mean. Look at the mess he made – from one sandwich!’ Jameson paused to brush the bread crumbs out of his hair, then pointedly stared at a jelly stain on Anti’s sleeve.

Anti glanced at the remaining bits of food and shrugged. “Well, he is kinda like a kid. I mean, he’s still learning how to talk and all, not to mention move around.”

Just then, a loud thump resounded from the hallway. “Robbie, you ok?!” The zombie groaned in response to Anti’s question. “He’s fine.” A thumbs-up appeared around the doorframe, accompanied by a soft giggle.

* * *

Later that night, Marvin called the other egos to dinner. “I made spaghetti: __someone's favorite~”  


Robbie clapped and grinned. “Th..thank..Marv!”

As the egos began to eat, Jameson could not help but notice the spaghetti sauce flying in his direction. A quick glance to his left confirmed that Robbie was indeed ravenously devouring his plate – almost literally. As he tried to ignore it again, sauce began to land on his plate.

Jameson turned to Jackieboy and waved. “What’s up, Jamie?” The mute ego simply nodded towards Robbie (who had been using his hands to eat), then down at the sauce covering his own once-clean plate. “Hey, Robster, you’re getting food on Jamie’s plate, y’ goof!”

The zombie stopped eating and turned towards Jameson with wide eyes – sauce dripping from his hands and face. “Sorry…Jay…”

Jameson felt guilt settle in his stomach as the zombie looked down at his plate dejectedly. He put a hand on the other’s shoulder and smiled gently. The zombie slowly lifted his sad eyes up to meet his.  Jameson widened his smile and wiggled his moustache.

Robbie finally smiled and laughed, then moved to hug the other ego. “Do…’gain Jay!”

Jameson would have been more than willing to wiggle his moustache “ ‘gain”, but now his white dress shirt was covered in _red tomato sauce._

Mustering all of the patience that he had, Jameson gently pried himself out of the other’s grip. He gave Robbie an apologetic smile and held the zombie’s hands up for him to examine. “Oh…sorry…Jay.”

The table fell silent as the other egos took notice of the situation: a sauce-covered zombie and a spaghetti’d mute.

Marvin was the first to speak, “Robbie, you know not to play with your food!”

“Actually, I don’t think he _does_.” Jameson nodded in vigorous agreement with Schneeplestein. “We’ve been so worried about teaching him how to talk and walk that we haven’t paid attention to how he’s eating.”

Anti glanced at Jameson with the barest hint of a smile, “Well, someone’s gotta teach him.”

Jameson abruptly stood and raised his hand, determination in his eyes.

“Are ya sure, James?” Chase quirked an eyebrow, questioning. “I mean, I believe in you and all. But teaching kids how to eat properly is a hassle, not to mention…’taller kids’.” Robbie fiddled with a noodle stuck to his sweater sleeve, oblivious to the conversation.

The shorter ego nodded, ‘I’m more than sure! Not to brag, but I know a thing or two about etiquette.’ He winked as he finished, whipping out a handkerchief to gently wipe at the zombie’s face. Robbie let out a surprised noise as the cloth touched his face, but he quickly began to purr and rub at the soft material.

Marvin nodded, “I think that if anyone’s going to teach him manners, it’s James. I mean, he _does_ know about etiquette and all. Heck, he knows the difference between a salad fork and a dinner fork!”

Jameson cheekily grinned and held up the mentioned silverware. He winked and used the dinner fork with his spaghetti.

“Alright, so I guess James is teaching Robbie table manners.” Jackieboy glanced at the two sauce-covered egos. “…after a couple showers.”

* * *

After Robbie and Jameson had cleaned up and the other egos had finished eating, Jameson led the shorter ego to the table. As he had requested, there was a small plate of salad and a piece of ham set out.  


Jameson smiled and turned to Robbie, pulling out the chair. ‘For you.’ The zombie still did not quite understand sign language, so he would have to use simple words and sentences.

Robbie excitedly sat down and moved to take the ham with his hands. Quickly, Jameson stopped him with his own hands. He gently set the zombie’s hands on a napkin instead.

Jameson sat beside Robbie and took a napkin for himself. The purple-haired ego watched curiously as Jameson set the napkin on his lap, unfolding it to lay flat. ‘Now you.’

Robbie hummed and stared at the napkin under his hands, slowly pulling it to his lap. He unfolded it clumsily and looked to Jameson.

Jameson clapped and nodded in affirmation. Robbie smiled - then moved to take the ham with his hands again.

‘No!’ Jameson reached out and held the zombie’s hands. He moved one to hover over the fork. ‘Fork’ he signed, placing the object into the other’s hand. Robbie examined the metal fork with a soft hum. His eyes widened as it reflected the light. “Jay…light!”

Jameson bit back a laugh and nodded. ‘Yes, light.’ He picked up his own fork and gestured to Robbie. ‘Like this’ He motioned as though he was cutting through something with the side of the fork – but the zombie was still fixated on the object’s reflective surface. “Light…guh…”

Jameson sighed and shook his head. He reached out and took the zombie’s hand to move it over the ham. He used his hands to help the zombie cut a piece off with the fork. When he pulled his hands back, Robbie stared at Jameson, dumbfounded.

‘Fork is for eating. Poke the ham.’

The zombie looked at the small piece of ham, looked at the fork, and then slowly pushed the prongs into the slice. When he lifted the fork, the ham stayed on the end. “J, Jay! Fork…keep foo’!”

Jameson nodded. ‘Yes, now eat the food off!’ Robbie lifted to fork to his lips and carefully pulled the piece off and into his mouth. He chewed the ham and beamed, “Jay…did it!” Tiny pieces of meat flew as he spoke around the mouthful.

The dapper ego smiled, albeit stiffly. ‘Yes, you did! Close your mouth, don’t talk with food inside.’

“K!” Robbie closed his mouth and swallowed the rest of the bite. “…do ‘gain?” ‘Yes, we will do it again.’ Jameson helped Robbie to cut off another bite of ham then withdrew his hands.

Robbie, now more comfortable, ate the piece and kept his mouth shut as he chewed and swallowed. “Did it!”

‘Good!’ The mute ego thought for a moment. ‘Want to try?’

“Yeah!” Robbie stuck his tongue out in concentration, brows furrowed as he tried to cut a piece of ham off. After a minute or two, he finally cut off a small piece. “Guh!” He triumphantly held up the bite on his fork and ate it with a wide grin.

Jameson clapped and smiled. He waited until Robbie had eaten the entire piece of ham before bringing out the salad.

Robbie stared at the plate, slight confusion on his face. Jameson gestured to the fork, then the salad, and watched to see how the zombie would fare.

For a moment, Robbie simply stared. Finally, his eyes lit with realization. He dropped the fork before Jameson could react and shoved lettuce into his mouth.

Robbie closed his mouth around the green mass, carefully chewing it before swallowing. “ ‘Don’t talk wif food inside!’ “ he echoed, smiling proudly.

Jameson was frozen with horror, eying the mess of leaves on the table. Yet when he saw the zombie’s wide grin, he could not help but smile back. ‘Yes. “Don’t talk with food inside.” ‘ He picked up the fork again and gently placed it in the zombie’s hand. ‘But try the fork again.’

* * *

The next day, the egos all sat down to eat lunch. Chase grinned as he pulled a pizza out of the oven and carried it to the table. “So how does pepperoni sound?”  


A chorus of agreements answered him as he brought out a stack of foam plates. He handed each ego a slice before taking a seat. “Hey James, how did it go last night?”

Jameson beamed and blindly gestured towards Robbie. The rest of the table turned to see, and stifled their laughter.

“Well, he knows how to use a fork now.” Jameson quirked an eyebrow and turned to the zombie.   
Robbie was using a fork to methodically cut bites of the pizza, then lifting them to his mouth.

Anti snorted, “Rob, you can eat pizza with your hands.”

The zombie gasped and looked up for affirmation. The mute ego nodded and showed how he was eating his own slice, sleeves rolled back and carefully chewing each bite.

Robbie set the fork down and excitedly grabbed the slice with his hands, then bit off a piece. “Good food, Chay!”

Chase smiled and patted the ego’s shoulder. He took a bite of pizza and talked around it, “Thanks, bud!” He went to take another bite, but Robbie placed a greasy hand on his arm.

“Jay say…’don’t talk wif food inside’.”

Chase smiled and patted his purple hair. “You’re right, we can’t talk with food in our mouths.” He lifted an eyebrow at the dapper ego across the table. “Well, you proved me wrong, Little Bro. You didn’t have any trouble at all!”

Jameson simply smiled, not telling the others how long it had actually taken. That learning to chew with his mouth shut was easy, the hard part was learning to use silverware for most everything. James was lucky to be skilled at cleaning; otherwise the tablecloth would still be stained with various food splatters.

Still, he felt a sense of pride as he watched the younger ego eat pizza with his mouth closed, reminding Anti to do the same and beaming as the other egos expressed their pride in his new skills.


End file.
